Wedding planning during the Coronavirus crisis

How to get married during a pandemic

I know quite a few articles have been written about wedding planning during the Coronavirus pandemic already, and I hadn’t really planned on adding another one. But after speaking with so many of my 2020 couples, plus other wedding vendors, and new couples planning their 2021 weddings, I’ve learnt a few things. So I thought I’d throw in my 2 pennies worth after all, and hopefully there’ll be a few useful bits in here for some of you at least.

Embracing uncertainty

In a space of just a few weeks, the whole world has been turned on its head. As for weddings, it used to be the case that you confirm your wedding date, book your vendors, and unless something really weird happens, your wedding would take place on the day you planned it for, and everyone would play their part. Now, well, who knows what might happen.

Personally, I really struggle with uncertainty. In a normal year, I might get 1 wedding postponement or cancellation, which feels horrible enough. This year, out of 23 weddings booked at the time all this started, only a handful remain. It’s taken me a while to come to terms with it - not just the financial loss, but also the lack of work - I like to be busy, so what am I going to do with myself?! But I’m slowly getting used to this new reality that we’ll have to content with, whether we like it or not.

I think we all - couples and vendors - have to accept that things will be less certain for a while, and that we’ll have to be more flexible and go with the flow as we get through this. So now that I’ve accepted what’s going on, my approach is to be open-minded, think creatively and support my clients to find solutions that work for everyone. And to be honest, so far I feel very grateful to work with the most lovely people, which makes me feel really hopeful for the future.

Communicate with your vendors

If you have already booked your wedding for 2020 - whether you’re thinking of postponing, or are waiting to see what happens - I strongly recommend communicating with all your vendors as soon as possible. I can only speak for myself, but I am keen to accommodate all my couple’s various situations, and knowing where you are at really helps me plan and make sure I can do that. For example I have a webpage with my available dates for 2021 that I send to my couples, which they can refer to as they make decisions about their day. Many other vendors will have the same. Importantly, check in with your venue, church, registry office etc and see whether they will actually be open on your day and what their current situation is. They should of course get in touch with you too, but they might be facing staff shortages and all manner of crisis right now, so don’t assume all is fine just because you haven’t heard from them otherwise. I think the best we can do right now is to keep in touch with each other, and we’ll have the best chance to ensure things work out fine.

Going small / eloping

If you can’t be bothered with all this uncertainty (who can blame you), and just want to get married as soon as possible without any fuss, a small wedding might be the way forward for you. Obviously (at the time of writing), we don’t know when restrictions will be eased, but it’s probably safe to assume that small gatherings will be allowed before big ones. You need two witnesses to get married, so that makes 4 of you (plus a photographer of course! :0), so this might be something that’s possible again over the coming weeks and months. I capture tiny weddings a lot, and they are honestly lovely, and no less special. In fact, the only time I have actually wept during a wedding ceremony was at an elopement with just the couple and the celebrant, it was so beautiful! You could also have your ceremony recorded, so you can still share it with your loved ones later. And have a little photo shoot after the ceremony as well, so you’ll have those gorgeous wedding portraits too. Depending on the rules at the time, you might even be able to go for a special dinner, or have a small gathering at your house afterwards.

Splitting your day in two

Following on from the previous point, you could look at doing the legal bit at your local registry office or church as above, once it’s possible. Then go for a big party in a year or so. This way you can get married soon, and still have that awesome party too. Again, keep in touch with your vendors if you had already booked them, so they know what your plans are.

Humanist ceremonies

You may have noticed that there is a bit of a rush for 2021 dates. Lots of 2020 couples are postponing, competing with new 2021 couples for popular summer dates. Even if the venues have availability, there’s a shortage of registrars to conduct their ceremonies. I suspect that’s going to become an ongoing problem in the UK over the next year or so. So if you are having trouble with this, you could look at having your legal ceremony on any off-peak weekday at your town hall, and then still go for the big wedding day at your wedding venue. You could hire an independent celebrant, or even ask a family member who’s good at this sort of thing, to create a personalised wedding ceremony for you and your guests. This way you can still have all the elements of a traditional wedding day, it just won’t be the legal bit on the day. Quite a few couples already do this anyway, and it’s a lovely way to have a more unique and tailored ceremony. Here are a couple of celebrants I have worked with and would highly recommend: Yvonne Beck, Holly Smith.

Having a weekday or winter wedding

If you just can’t book the date you wanted, think about going for a weekday or low-season wedding. Winter weddings can be just as beautiful as summer ones, in fact the light for photos is often much more flattering in the low light winter months than it is in summer. I wrote a blog about planning winter weddings a few weeks ago, and you can check it out here.

Sitting tight

I think it’s fair to say that if your wedding is planned for May or June 2020, it’s probably not going to happen. But after that, it’s hard to tell. If your venue is planning to be open on your day, you don’t have lots of guests arriving from overseas, and you’re not too stressed out by the whole thing, why not sit tight and see what happens. You might still have to compromise on a few things on the day to adhere to social distancing regulations, whatever they may be, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. People will be so happy to get out and about again, it’ll probably be an even more memorable and special day for it.

Finally, I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do. I’ll leave you with a photo of Lucy and Mat’s joyous reception entrance. Here’s to hope, and knowing that we will be having this kind of fun again! ❤️